Well howdy!

My co-worker Monika, Michael, and his brother Jeffery decided we would take our pair of smart fortwos down to the USA again for some more fun at theme parks. We didn't leave Guelph until... almost 20h. With a 7 hour drive that would put us in at 3am. Which necessitated a stop once we crossed the border to fetch some Monster XXL!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First we had to physically CROSS the border, which was easier for some of us than others! While Monika and I sailed through with minimal questions, unlucky Mike and his brother were detained at the booth for 15 minutes because they didn't think his car was allowed to drive on roads in the USA. "But I'm with them and you just let them go through!" :: points to us :: Hehe. Well, eventually we got on our way past the fabulous Hotel Yorba in Detroit, which is not sketchy at all.



After downing an XXL things didn't seem right... but we pressed on. We finally got to our hotel right around the corner from Kings Island at 2:30am, and crashed shortly therafter.

I awoke to the high pitched scream of teenage girls running down the walkway outside going "OMG LOOK AT THE LITTLE CARS, WHEEEE!!!!"



We had intended on being at the park for opening but that clearly wasn't happening. I got up first and made it just in time for the end of the continental breakfast and brought back food for everyone. We headed over and got there shortly after 11.





The park is heavily decorated for their Fearfest event, which takes place at all the Paramount parks during the month of October. Other parks run similar events - which is why I'm going to Florida at the end of this month, for the penultimate of all Haloween events - Haloween Horror Nights at Universal's Islands of Adventure.



First up: Face/Off. This Vekoma Invertigo is one of only 3 in North America and is SICK!




Face/Off with Drop Zone (Intamin Gyro Drop) in the background.

A lovely Scion exhibit was set up inside the park, and someone had decided that the best way to convey their feelings about the stylish xB was to deposit a used rubber onto it.





Delirium called to us, but it's hour-long wait pushed us in another direction. We headed to FestHaus and got a bite to eat, and I played DDR for probably half an hour while the rest of the crew scarfed down the rest of the food.

But then I was feelin' rough.

Reeeeeal rough.

Monster hangover + 2 hours sleep + 30 minutes of DDR on "heavy" = :puke:

So I went and did that while the rest of the gang rode Racer. I was feeling a lot better after that, so we went onto one fo my all time favourites, Flight of Fear!! This indoor coaster was the first to use a linear induction motor as a method of launching the train - from 0-90 km/h in 4 seconds (not bad!). While other launch coasters out there go faster, this one is incredible because it's completly indoors, pitch black, and all you see from the loading station is the train shoot off into a dark tunnel. The spooky atmosphere really gets you freaked out.



After the train launches into the giant bowl of twisted track, it spirals around for nearly a minute with no sense of direction at all, at impossibly fast speeds, with impossibly close headchoppers, before spitting you back out into the offload area. Kings Dominion was suposed to get rid of their identical ride and ship it up to Canada's Wonderland, but that didnt' happen once the Cedar Fair buyout happened (DAMN AND BLAST).



We did not ride Vortex because it is a piece.

We couldn't wait anymore - we had to do it. We got in line for The Beast mid afternoon - the world's longest, most legendary wooden roller coaster. No other ride is like it - it goes back off into the woods on an incredible high speed journey of insanity, pushing deeper and deeper and faster and faster until you seriously think there's no way the train is going to make it through without ripping off the track.


People are weird.

Monika won a prize and then we looked at the new Zamperla thing which was so horrific that we could only stand and watch in awe, or confusion. Either or.



After that, we hit up Tomb Raider. I don't want to spoil it for anyone (oh who am I kidding, lol) - but this is the world's only HUSS Giant Top Spin (and will likely be the only one ever built). It is a massive, hulking machine, hidden deep within a box and surrounded by ornate themeing. It is probaly the most imposing ride I have ever seen. When you enter the ride building you walk across into the giant, 77 passenger gondola, and look up and try to see all the mechanics so far above you, in the darkness... that drum and bass loop blaring... too cool!!

So Fearfest was just about to get under way, but we were huuungry and cold, so we took off back to our little cars and I took up the lead to take us to...

STEAK N SHAKE!!!!!!



Our meal was incredible and everyone loves Steak N Shake 100%.



When we returned to the park it was rather atmospheric!!







Now, part of Fearfest is that they set up areas of the park that are normally off-limits to guests as haunted mazes or paths or houses... and they are GOOD. We opted to try Psycho Path, which was way back in and behind Flight of Fear. We walked down a long, twisting path that went deeper and deeper off into the woods, for about an hour, walking a kilometer (at least!) away and darker and darker from the park. Scary!!! Once at the far end, you are lead into the woods into small groups of 10 and, completly alone, with no guide, find your way back up through the woods. Now, Monika wanted to lead... that lasted all of 5 seconds!! I was soon pushed out in front.

No sooner had that happened than the most horrific thing happened, I don't know what, suddenly the two of us exploded laterally into the woods! My shoe went flying and Monika cut her knee on a log! Michael and his brother were pissing themselves laughing. "My shoe! My shoe!!"

We were running out of time and wanted to ride the slingshot, an Austrian-built spring-and-wire-rope driven vertical launch ride. I won't touch the bungee-driven equivelants (they're not permited to operate in Ontario, even), but the spring-driven units are very safe. $20 later we're on board... what a beautiful ride. I have never felt so completly alone as being 100 m above the ground in perfect weightlessness, looking down at all the lights and fog everywhere... truly feels like being launched off into space.

Michael and his brother went next and we watched, it looks so freaky from the ground! We could see their reactions via a wireles camera, on a monitor down below.



We were the last guests in line for The Beast before they closed off the line, and we ended up in the last car on the last train of the night. The Beast, like all wooden coasters, just gets faster and faster and faster as the day wears on...

That last ride will go down as one of the most insane rides in existance.



We did not go up the park's signature attraction, Eiffel Tower, but we looked at it.

Exhausted and burned out we lurched back to our little cars... now nearly completly alone in the giant parking lot. 2 to a space, of course. As soon as we aproached them, a cop car whipped up with 3 young girls in the back.

"ARE THOSE YOUR CARS?????" - here we go. Michael took care of the technicals. Hehe










Puppy loves Turtle!




Finally back in Canada.

This was the cheapest trip I think I've done.

-Hotel was free (they didn't give us an extra cot, so they comped the room)
-Fuel was free (thanks Monika's dad!!!)

The most expensive part was our meal at STEAK N SHAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

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-Iain

MilitaryDuckJock

You call this a Car ? ?

This is a Car




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